So I guess it is past time to update everyone. I’ve been busy the last month around here.
I’ll start with school. I started the semester with a 16 credit course load. Three classes, Writing (English), Spanish and Biology. Everything is going great in my Spanish and Biology class. I’m learning a lot in these classes. Writing has been a problem since the semester started. The instructor has a certain mindset and heaven forbid if anyone contradicts her. This week was the last straw. I went to the admissions office and spoke to an advisor and have withdrawn from that class. I’ll take it again next semester with a different instructor. And I guess I feel a kind of relief, knowing I don’t have this third class that adds to the homework load. My biology class is getting a little harder to understand and we’ve moved out of the Spanish that I already know into the Spanish that is above my head. Maybe I was a little too eager to jump into classes when it has been a while since I’ve been in school.
Work is okay. I have one permanent assignment (as permanent as caregiving gets) that I go to on Mondays and Wednesdays. I get along with the gentleman I’m working with, and his wife reminds me of me. She and I have shared about how hard it is to let go of control of the house and let someone help. But she’s also looking forward to the day that her husband feels comfortable with just me taking care of him so she can leave the house and get away.
Mental health wise, things aren’t so great. We’re entering fall and winter here. It’s really hard on me with my depression. I miss the sunlight and the warmth. I’ve increased my Vitamin D and I’m waiting for a sunlight lamp that helps people who have depression. I’m also feeling lonely. Even surrounded by people every day, I feel alone.
Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice in staying in Oregon. There have been days when it seems like everything going on is too overwhelming and I just want to run. And keep running with the hopes of leaving everything behind.
