Friends...

Friends.  It’s amazing how much is encompassed by one 7 letter word.

Have you ever had a friend that is the first person you want to call when something happens, whether good or bad?   A friend that you can vent all your frustrations to and have them listen and understand? A friend that you can run to for advice?  A friend that knows you will do the same for them, that calls you to vent, that calls for advice, that calls for the good and bad?

I have had a couple of friends like that.  Lately though, it seems like I’ve lost one of them.  I used to be able to talk to this person all the time.  They were the first person I wanted to call when I got a 92% on my Biology test, but I couldn’t.  They were the person I wanted to run to when I had problems or needed advice.  Lately though, they’re the last person I want to talk to.  I’ve taken their number off of my speed dial because I don’t need it anymore.  They used to call me, but those phone calls have stopped.

Something has slowly ruined the easy relationship we had.  And I don’t know what it is.  I can’t try to fix it if I don’t know what it is.  But when I think about it, I don’t know if I even want to fix it.  I wonder if the relationship is worth trying to save.

I also think God may have another friend waiting for me.  Frances had a home health aide who came to the house twice a week and helped me give Frances a shower.  She and I became friends.  She told me to give her a call sometime in October.  I didn’t give her a call, too much was going on.  But since then, I have run into her every couple of weeks.  It’s like God keeps throwing us together.  I last saw her on Friday night when the girls and I had to make a pull-up run to the store.  She mentioned then that she has never run into any of her previous client’s families as many times as she and I have run into each other.  So we’ve made plans to get together after the holidays. 

Even with all of this going on, I’ve been thinking a lot about where my life is headed.  I feel peace when I think about school.  I know that I need to stay in school and complete this degree.  I don’t feel peace anymore about staying in Oregon.  But I also don’t feel peace about going back to Phoenix.

So I guess I still need to sit back and think, and wonder where my life is headed.